Think Twice
by Xx.fanatic.of.you.xX
Summary: "But I had caused this. I closed my eyes again as I let the tears burn down my face as I fell to the floor. What have I done?" Based of the song by Eve 6. Nalex. Oneshot.


Inspired by the song _Thing Twice_ by Eve 6. I suggest you play the song in the background as you read this oneshot for a far better reading experience. Reviews would be great, I took a very long time to finish this baby up. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.

Think Twice

_When all is said and done and dead…_

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears running down her cheeks.

My vision blurred and I couldn't see anything. Think anything. _Feel_ anything. I saw my world come crumbling down as those words ran over and over again in my head. She didn't mean it. Right? No, she couldn't. I felt my head shaking.

"No," I whispered.  
"What?" she asked a little surprised.  
"No, you don't mean that," I looked into her already watery eyes, pleading for her to confirm that I was right and that she didn't mean any of it. Maybe it was all a big joke. Maybe she was getting me back for all those little pranks I've ever played on her…  
"Nate…I'm so, so sorry but I can't keep doing this…I tried, I really did. I'm sorry…" She whispered one more time before slowly turning around and walking away.

I could still feel her hand on my cheek, I instinctively touched my cheek where she had stroked it and said those last words before she slid it off slowly leaving me behind. What just happened? I thought everything was going good. I felt myself sigh in frustration; even I knew that wasn't true. Alex and I were fighting way too much. For the stupidest of things too. I slapped myself in the face…it was all my fault and I knew it. Why did I have to be such an asshole to her lately? She didn't deserve all the crap that I was giving her. I shouldn't have had my football and school problems interfere with our relationship like that. She tried to tell me before, she tried to fix me but I wouldn't let her. Maybe it was just naïve of me to think that she'd stick with me no matter what. That we were going to get through it…eventually. I guess she was trying to get through it while I was too blind to see that I was slowly losing her.

"_I tried, I really did. I'm sorry…"_ replayed over and over again in my head.

I closed my eyes as I felt the memories of the past invade my head.

[FLASHBACK]

"Nate why don't you just talk to me!" she asked hopelessly.  
"I'm fine Alex! I don't need to _talk_ about anything!" he yelled back.  
"No, you're _not _fine! Look at you Nate!" she yelled but he simply turned his back to her.  
"You won't even look at me anymore…" she could feel the tears already threatening to come out.

He was still looking out the window when he slowly looked at her.

"Can't you just leave me alone right now? I really need to get started on that dumbass project…it's due tomorrow." He walked over to his desk.  
"I can help you." She stared after him.  
"Thanks, but I got it," he didn't even noticed the books she was carrying in her arms.

She quietly set the books down on his bed and slowly walked out of his room as the tears started to roll down her face.

[/FLASHBACK]

"I am such an idiot!" How could I not see it? How could I have been so blind and so hurtful? I had pushed her away. I had hurt her. I couldn't bare the thought right now. Hurting her like that was never my intention. She was my world…my everything. Even if I didn't show it, I _felt_ it. But I had caused this. I closed my eyes again as I let the tears burn down my face as I fell to the floor. What have I done?

* * *

The time passed by fast, almost in a blur. But the wounds healed slowly.

I was able to regain Alex's friendship back. She refused to take me back, not wanting to go back to the usual 'break-up-then-get-back-together' routine she was so tired of so when I finally stopped insisting, I afford her my friendship and she took it. I hang onto that friendship with all my might everyday. I _will_ get her back one day. I **will**.

"Best friends?"  
"Best friends." She smiled.

I returned the smile. Seeing her smile…killed me. She was perfect. She was my own very definition of perfection. If being her best friend meant that I could be close to her again…then I'll take it. I focused so much on her that everything else seemed to slip away slowly. I didn't care about football anymore, I didn't care about being amongst one of the popular kids at school, I just didn't care anymore. I wanted to prove to her that she was my main focus now. Something I should have done when we were together…

"Nate don't you have practice today?" she glanced over at me.  
"Yeah but I want to walk you home," I smiled.  
"Nate you don't have to do that…You'll be late!" she genuinely seemed worried.  
I smiled even wider, "I don't care Alex. What I care about is walking you home."

I noticed that she blushed slightly before looking away. She gave in and let me walk her home. Even though I had to run extra laps for being late, I ran them with a smile on my face.

We started to hang out a lot now. Just not in the way that I wanted to. I found myself frowning at the attention Shane, my supposed best friend, was giving her. I know we shared friends but Shane was my boy, he should be helping me on getting her back rather then _flirting _with her. What bothered me even more was that Alex was actually…enjoying the attention? I shook my head, clearing those thoughts away. They would never do that to me. Besides, Alex was _my_ girl. Only **mine**.

**A Couple of Months Later**

It was as if my whole world came crashing back down on me. How could she do this to me? Did she not care at all? I couldn't believe this was happening…that this was _real_. Why didn't she tell me? Finding out this way instead of finding out from her…was ten times worse. It was like the night she broke up with me…that same hurt…but _ten times worse_.

"Your boyfriend?"  
"I can explain! I was going to tell you…"  
"Save it."

I walked out on her. I left her standing there in the middle of the hallway calling out my name. I walked out and didn't turn back.

As I sat in my room, I shook my head, getting away desperately from the images that were running again and again in my head. I shut my eyes tightly, running my hands through my unruly curls.

[FLASHBACK]

"Hey babe," he surprised her, hugging her from the back.  
"Shane! Jesus, you scared me!" she giggled as he kissed her neck.  
"Sorry babe, I just couldn't resist," he chuckled.  
"Shane…we shouldn't really be doing this in school…you know I haven't told Nate yet…" she had a strained…almost _guilty _look on her face.  
"Alex. He's your ex! You don't need to tell him anything. It's not like you're cheating on the guy!" he seemed frustrated now, like they've had this conversation before.  
"But he's someone I care about _a lot_ Shane! And he's also your friend! Babe…just respect my wishes…please?" she asked him desperately.  
He sighed. "Anything for you love," he winked at her.  
"You're such a sweet boyfriend," she giggled.  
"And you're the prettiest girlfriend any guy could ask for," he leaned down and kissed her.

I slammed the door I was standing behind making them both jump. I walked out of the room and I could feel Alex start running after me…

[/FLASHBACK]

I ran my hands through my hair a few more times. "I'll kill him." How dare he move in on _my_ girl! I grabbed my keys and ran out the house. _Breathing lighting, tonight's for fighting…I feel the hurt so physical._

I pulled up to his house. I parked in his drive way and rang his door bell, fists balled up ready for him to answer the door, anger blinding my eyes.

"Come on, answer you coward." I breathed.

My fists dropped and my vision was cleared from the anger, only to let disappointment overtake them.

"Alex?"  
"Nate what are you doing here?"  
"I—I…"

Turns out_ I_ was the coward. I simply ran back to my car and drove off. Where to? I have no clue and could have cared less. All I was at the moment was ashamed; ashamed that I was about to make a fool of myself in front of her. There was an ache in my chest – I focused on the road that was ahead of me. I just needed to get out of here. I needed to clear my head…I needed to forget her…and him…together. _Does he love you the way that I do?_

I felt my phone vibrate for the third time. I glanced at it. Alex. What could she possibly tell me? I ignored it…again. Seconds later, it started up…again. I sighed and picked it up.

"What?"  
"Nate, please…can we please talk?" had she been crying?  
"I don't think that's possible Lexie…" I winced at the slip of her old nickname.  
"Nate…I never wanted you to find out this way…I was going to tell you when I felt that you were ready to hear it," she sounded worried.  
"When I was ready for it? What does that mean? You don't think I could have handled it…" I was in shock. When I was _ready_ for it? What the fuck?  
"Well…look at your reaction right now…" she trailed off.

I stayed silent. She was right. I cursed under my breath. I couldn't believe I acted the way I did. Some _best friend_ I am. Who am I, Shane? No. I promised I was going to be her best friend. And I'm gonna be a good one _goddamnit_. Even if she did just finish breaking my heart.

"Nate, you still there?"  
"I'll meet you at Pete's Pizza in 20." I hung up and made a U-turn, heading back to town.  
"I'm so happy you came…"  
"Alex…"  
"No Nate, let me go ahead and talk first, please. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for all of this. I really didn't mean to hurt you in any way. You're my best friend Nathanial Black, and I would never want to lose you. You mean so much to me, you _really_ do. I'm sorry you had to find out like that…I…" I could see she was going to cry again so I just simply hugged her.

It took all my will power to do so. Honestly, I didn't want to hug her, I didn't want her so close because…because it hurt to be that near to her and know that she wasn't _mine_ anymore. _She spreads her love, she burns me up, I can't let go I can't get out, I said enough, enough right now._

As I was hugging her, I saw him. He was waiting by the door looking at us. Rage suddenly started to spread through my body and I found myself holding onto Alex more tightly. I wanted to let him know that she was mine. I wanted to show him that she loved _me_, not him. I just wanted to kick his ass, that's what I wanted.

"Uhm, Nate…you're crushing me…" I quickly loosened my grip and unwillingly let go of her.  
"I'm so sorry, did I hurt you?" I never wanted to hurt her again…  
"No I'm fine, it just felt like you were hugging me as if you weren't going to ever hug me again," she slightly laughed.

My eyes darted back to the door. She saw me and followed me gaze. Her smile seemed to drop in a matter of seconds. Now that he had caught her attention, he started to walk over to us and I immediately tensed up. I could feel Alex start to get nervous. I always knew when she was nervous…I knew everything about her. I wonder if he knew her as well as I did. Pfft, what am I saying? Of course he didn't, she's _my_ girl. No one knew her better then I did. No one.

"Did…did you guys talk it out? I mean, is everything, like, okay now?" he stuttered like the idiot that he is.  
"I really hope so…" she turned to me with pleading eyes. I sighed. How can I ever be mad at her? She wasn't the one I was mad at.

I looked him straight in the eyes as I answered Alex's doubt, "of course we talked it out, there's nothing that could ever separate me from Alex. Or _anyone_."

* * *

"So what do you say? Will you go?"  
"I don't know Alex…I'm super busy you know," I smirked.  
"Oh c'mon Nate! Please…for me?" she pouted innocently.  
"Damn it Alex, you know I can never turn down the pout!" I chuckled.  
"So I take it you _are_ coming?" her smile was so wide and genuine I couldn't help but smile back.  
"Of course I'll go, wouldn't miss it for the world!" She squeals and gives me a quick hug before running off to her car.  
"Remember, it starts at six!"  
"I wouldn't dare be late!"

I found myself getting nervous as I started to get ready to head out to Alex's play. She had always wanted to be an actress but had always been to shy to actually try out for anything. When I had finally convinced her to do the spring musical, she not only nailed her audition, but she got the lead role. I don't think she will ever know how happy it made me seeing _her_ happy and finally doing what she loved. She had always been there for my football career, now it was my turn to be there for her spotlight. I quickly dabbed on some cologne, grabbed my keys and bouquet of flowers from my dresser and headed towards the school.

I decided to sit in the back and watch the entire scenery from there. My eyes glued to the curly haired brunette. She was more beautiful then ever that night. She had a glow that night that it made her outshine every single person who was standing besides her on that stage. Her singing was flawless and her acting couldn't be more perfect. When the end came and it was time to announce the actors of the play I thought my hands were going to fall off as I stood there clapping when they announced her beautiful name. I was truly so proud of her. As the cur tents were closing she glanced in my direction and spotted me, giving me the biggest smile before her face disappeared behind the cur tents.

My heart was pounding from excitement of holding her in my arms and congratulating her on her amazing performance as I made my way to her dressing room backstage. As I was reaching towards her door I spotted her and froze. She was with…him. He had her in his arms, spinning her around while she laughed joyfully in his arms. _When I showed up and he was there, I tried my best to grin and bare…_

She saw me from the corner of her eyes and immediately detached herself from Shane and ran towards me. I opened my arms and accepted her embrace, hugging her to me possessively. I buried my face in her hair inhaling her scent while I whispered my praise of her performance in her ear.

As she pulled away I could see the tears forming in her eyes.

"You really think I did good?"  
"Alex, of course you did _great_! I told you, you would." I winked and smiled at her.  
"Oh, Nate!" She threw her arms around me again. "Thank you…" she whispered.  
"Don't thank me…" she pulled away when I said this.  
"Of course I am! If it weren't for you convincing me to try out, tonight wouldn't have been possible." There was a sparkle in her eye and so I just left it at that.

I watched as she walked back to him and I didn't care. He may have spun her in his arms and she may have seemed happy but I was the one to bring tears of joy with my words. I will always be the one to bring those emotions out of her.

* * *

She was crying on my shoulder as she told me how he had flirted with the new girl right in front of her. It was only because she was already really upset, crying that I didn't go kick his ass that very instant. I was infuriated. Flirting with other girls when he already had the most amazing one of all to himself? Are you fucking kidding me? How could he even _think_ of hurting her like that? And then it hit me…he had hurt her. Her crying had turned into small sobs and I let her stay in my arms as a rubbed her arms up and down soothingly as she continued to calm down. I couldn't help but to think of what this could mean. Was it wrong for me to possibly be happy about this? What if she finally breaks it off because of this and realizes her and I could still have something? _Wait 'til the day you finally see, I've been here waiting patiently._

It wasn't until I felt Alex go tense in my arms when I realized what had made her so panicked. He was walking towards us with a remorseful expression on his face. I let out a low growl as I tightened my grip on Alex.

"Alex, please," he began, "please, you have to hear me out…" he pleaded.  
"No." her voice was small but firm, I gave her a light squeeze for support.  
"I wasn't flirting with her!" he raised his voice in desperation and I gave him a warning look that must have worked because he changed the tone of his voice when he spoke next.  
"Can we please just talk? And…can we do it in private?" he quickly glanced at me then looked back at her.

She hesitated because she didn't answer him right away. I was secretly praying that she would just send him to hell once and for all and leave with me. But I felt some of the color on my face fade as I felt her loosening her grip on me.

"Fine." She said, "I'll let you talk." Shane gave her a relieved smile to which I grit my teeth in annoyance.

She was about to get up when I pulled on her arm slightly, giving her a questioning look to which she just responded with a small, encouraging smile. I let her go. I watched as they walked down to the end of the hallway. They instantly started arguing, she was still obviously upset. My heart started pounding. Will this end with a break up or will she forgive him? The yelling started to subside as she started to cry again. He reached out to hug her and she let him. I stood furiously from the stairs and went out through the back doors not being able to bear looking at them for one more second. If she really did take him back…I don't know what I'd do. I don't know if I could handle the fact that she would take him back but yet she didn't take me back when I first begged her too. _I'm going down. 'Cause she spreads her love and burnt me up. I can't let go._

* * *

I hadn't been out of bed all day and I was starting to get restless. Thoughts from yesterday kept running through my mind. And maybe a couple of murder scenarios involving a certain Grey. There was a knock at my door interrupting my thinking. I let out a quick, "Come in," as I stayed in my bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Hey."

My head quickly snapped in the direction of the small, hesitant greeting. "Alex," was all I could manage to say. What was she doing here in my room? Had she come to tell me the great news that her and Shane were back together?

"I broke up with him." And suddenly, my head started to spin. All I could do was stare at her like an idiot in disbelieve. She just stood there awkwardly, looking down and playing with her hands nervously. I was finally able to snap out of my shock of the news and quickly got up and walked over to her. She was still looking at her hands so I carefully lifted her chin up so she can look at me.

"Are you okay?"  
She nodded, "I couldn't do it anymore."  
"What couldn't you do anymore?" I asked her confused.  
She looked back down and didn't answer me.

I stood there for a moment just letting her process what she wanted to tell me. I couldn't help but keep thinking about those five little words. _"I broke up with him."  
_

"I couldn't…I couldn't continue to hurt him." She finally spoke and I was more confused then ever. How the hell was _she _hurting _him_?  
"Come again?"  
She took a deep breath before she spoke next, "Nate I…I just couldn't do it."  
I tilted my head slightly, I was really confused now. "Do what, Alex?"  
"I could never bring myself to really _love_ him like he said he loved me." She looked away as she said this not being able to look at me.  
"Alex it's okay. It takes time to love someone back. You shouldn't have to feel bad because you didn't feel the same way back just yet."

What am I saying? Why am I telling her that it's okay for her to love him back? While my brain was mentally kicking me for saying this, I knew deep down that when it came to Alex's happiness I would put my feelings aside in the end for her. No matter how much hatred I would feel towards Shane for taking _my_ girl away from me.

"No. No you don't get it Nate." And that's when she finally turned to look at me, shaking her head. "I can't love him because I still love _you_. I've never stopped loving you." And she finally broke down. She started crying and I just stared at her like an idiot as I tried to process what she had just told me. "I thought that by accepting Shane's request to be my boyfriend that I'd be able to maybe get over you, but…but I just couldn't." She was sobbing now and all I did was smile at her while a single tear rolled down my own face and I let out a chuckle.

"Alexandra Marie Russo, I have never stopped loving you for one single instant," and I just took her confused face into my hands and pulled her into a kiss before she could say another word. I felt her gasp in surprise but she recovered quickly and wrapped her arms around my neck and ran her hands through my hair. I kissed her in ever way possible; greedily, possessively, tenderly…I just wanted her to know that I love her, that I always loved her and that she had always been _mine_.

* * *

As I walked down the hallway hand in hand with the most beautiful girl in the school I couldn't have been more happier in my life. That is until I saw _him_ walking towards us. I felt Alex tense up next to me and I simply squeezed her hand letting her know that it was okay. He walked up to Alex and asked if he could talk to her in private and I laughed.

"Of course you can't Grey. You aren't going anywhere with her alone. She's with _me_ again. Where she _always_ belonged." I felt Alex start to get uncomfortable beside me.  
"Oh now you're acting all big Black? Did you seem to forget the little fact that she chose to go out with me when she dumped your ass? Hmm?" And I could see him start to smirk.

I tried to let go of Alex's hand so I could hit the smirk right off of his face but she only held on tighter shaking her head. "Please don't," she whispered.

"You know what? Forget it. You can have her." He looked at Alex now in disgust, "and don't think for one second that you can come crawling back to me when you dump him again." And he walked past her, shoving her slightly as he did so. And that's when I lost it.

I instantly jumped towards him and had him pinned on the floor in less then a second. I lowered my head and growled in his ear, "You really shouldn't have done that. Think twice before you touch my girl Grey. Don't you ever get near her again, you hear me?"

He struggled beneath me but managed to choke out, "Or what Black?"

I just smiled at him, "or else I'll do this." And I punched the shit out of him and it felt damn good to do so too.

_Think twice before you touch my girl, come around, I'll let you feel the burn. Come around no more._

FIN


End file.
